


not quite divine

by sweaterwearinlesbian



Category: Death Note & Related Fandoms
Genre: Alternate Universe, Light’s a researcher, L’s still L, M/M, Passing mention of homophobia, that’s about it., they love each other in every universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-29
Updated: 2019-08-29
Packaged: 2020-09-29 17:43:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20439962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweaterwearinlesbian/pseuds/sweaterwearinlesbian
Summary: “What’s your name?” Light asked, when he could speak without a lump in his throat.“You may call me Ryuzaki.“





	not quite divine

Working was something Light enjoyed. He loved his lab, he loved the quiet chemicals and the hum of machines. He loved the math and the easy way it all came together, quiet tandem. 

His coworkers made it unbearable to be in the lab sometimes. He knew they meant well, but he just wanted to work. He didn’t want to socialize. He didn’t want to talk to them about so and so who got married and so and so who quit. Light just wanted to do his job. 

When his company was investigated for fraudulent results, Light’s research was put under scrutiny. By none other than his father’s favorite private detective: L. Light hated him. He hated how he was faceless and had the audacity to accuse him of fraudulent research and he hated how his father justified L’s methods. The man was immoral and despicable. 

One night, Light stood on the roof of his apartment building. It was something he often did, not because he was suicidal but because he loved the view. The way Tokyo never slept was truly fascinating. He was joined on this night by a peculiar man that Light hadn’t seen before. Perhaps he was a new tenant, perhaps he just was a homebody; in either case he was an abnormality. 

He spoke first, a simple “beautiful night, no?” Light hummed in response. The lights transfixed him, rooted him to the spot. He was not as rigid as he usually was. He was pliable, malleable as the compounds he worked with. “Are you from here?” 

“Sort of.” Light said as he was tugged back to reality. “I’m from Kyoto but not Tokyo.” Light turned to get a real look at his companion. He slouched like gravity weighed more on him than it did on others and the pallor of his skin meant that he reflected the lights. It was an unconventional beauty, something not quite divine but not quite wicked either. It was something that Light wanted to keep staring at. The man’s eyes _bore_ into Light’s, his inky black dancing with pink neon. Light felt foolish for ever thinking that he himself was beautiful. 

“What’s your name?” Light asked, when he could speak without a lump in his throat.

“You may call me Ryuzaki. I already know who you are Light, what with all those articles about your research. I am surprised to find you out here though. I didn’t think you would think this sort of thing to be… appealing.” He bit his thumb and Light felt like an insect under a microscope. He itched to gouge those pretty eyes out so that they would stop staring at him. 

“How would you know? We only just met Ryuzaki.” Ryuzaki chuckled and turned away. Light let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. 

“Perhaps in this life Light.” He did not elaborate and Light did not ask. It seemed fitting for the moment. Neither of them wanted to leave. They didn’t, not really. 

The next time Light saw Ryuzaki was in the cafeteria of his lab. Light was always brisk about his lunch, only spending a grand total of 33 minutes away from his workstation, including travel time. Light was surprised and did not attempt to approach him. It would be, firstly, rude and secondly presumptuous, to assume someone would want Light’s company. He sat at his usual table next to the window and watched the rain. He was joined by Ryuzaki approximately 2 minutes later. 

“Hello Light.” Light nodded in his direction: he would not be caught off guard this time. He would be careful and guarded. He would be himself as he usually was. 

“Ryuzaki,” he said, after he swallowed, “get your damn feet off the chair.” He relished the brief look of hurt that flashed across Ryuzaki’s face. “It’s inappropriate, not to mention unsanitary.” A beat where he waited for Ryuzaki to change his behavior. When he didn’t, Light barreled on. “Why are you here?” 

Ryuzaki smirked. “You’re quite forward aren’t you? No, don’t look so offended, it’s cute.” Light almost short circuited but kept it together enough to listen to the rest of what he had to say. “I’m here for my job. Don’t ask, I won’t tell.” Light scowled. 

“Quit taking words out of my mouth. Will you let me eat in peace please?” Ryuzaki nodded. Light finished his meal without interruption in 24 minutes to escape from Ryuzaki’s gaze.

He returned to his lab alone and willed himself not to feel disappointed. 

Ryuzaki was not on the roof that night but Light felt like he was being watched anyway. 

Light’s days became as they were and he nearly forgot about Ryuzaki. Nearly. Whenever he entered his apartment (sparsely furnished, white walls and grey rugs, perfectly in place, perfectly him) he hoped to see Ryuzaki on his way up to it. He never did. 

It turned out that one of the men on Light’s floor forged lab data to get more sponsorship for his research. He was arrested on some vague charges that Light was pretty sure amounted to “you’re a scumbag”. Light would tell anyone who cared to ask that he always had a bad feeling about him. A tidy lie that no one could prove.

That night when Light got to the roof Ryuzaki was waiting for him. It was raining but Light needed to clear his head. Ryuzaki was soaked. The lights from downtown dancing around them, glistening in puddles, on Ryuzaki’s face, in the pools of his eyes. Ryuzaki turned to Light, face unreadable. Light felt the sorrow in his eyes even if he couldn’t read it on his face. “What on earth are you doing in this rain?” Ryuzaki raised a hand to his ear, gesturing that he couldn’t hear him. Light didn’t want to play games and walked out to him, the rain cool on his fired up frame. “I said, what on earth are you doing out here?” 

Ryuzaki smiled at him. 

“When I was small, so small I probably shouldn’t remember this, my mother would take me outside when it rained. She told me that the sky was weeping. I don’t remember much else about her, she died when I was five. She never seemed happy though, unless she was talking to me. When I feel lost, I come outside in the rain. It feels like she’s here with me. It’s insane, given my logic driven profession and yet-” the coals of his eyes burned into Light’s soul “-I know it’s true. It has to be.” He smiled at Light in a misty way. “You and I will be parting ways soon.” 

“Ryuzaki, I don’t know what you’re referring to but that’s very ominous. What do you mean?” Light hoped that he was just taking a trip, that he wasn’t going to die or be gone forever. 

“My name is L. Doesn’t matter if I tell you, no one would believe you if you tried to rat me out - plus now you know me. Truly.” Light’s grin was tight. Of course he had to go and fall in love with the famous detective L. 

In another life, perhaps it would’ve made sense. Perhaps he had followed in his father’s footsteps and became a detective. Perhaps he became a criminal. In either case (or both, if one was so inclined,) loving L would be easier. But as a small time researcher with only a handful of published studies and even fewer successful ones, loving L was just impossible. It couldn’t happen. 

“You still haven’t told me what you mean. Quit talking in riddles.” Light’s scowl didn’t hold as much power as he wanted it to but it did the trick. 

“I’m leaving Japan. I just got wind of an interesting case in London, my semi-hometown.” He hesitated, a first since Light had known him. “Would you come with me?” Light was flabbergasted. Here, in the pouring rain of all places L -the L- was asking him to run away with him. 

“It’s freezing: come inside, I’ll get you tidied up and then we can talk okay?” L nodded, shivering as he became aware of just how cold it was. 

The walk back to Light’s apartment felt longer than it should’ve. It was just three flights of stairs, but between the slow shuffle of L’s feet and the desire to avoid this talk time dragged on. 

L took in the sight of Light’s apartment. It was barren. The walls were stark white with hardly a photo or decoration to attest to the human who lived there. The living room’s main feature was the small television and the bookshelf. There were numerous volumes of law books and laboratory reports. The few fictional books were old tomes, classics that L detested: he preferred fairy tales and myths. The coffee table was delicate glass, shiny and spotless while the loveseat was a dark grey, identical in color to the tv stand. Light turned to L where L stood rooted to the spot. The intimacy of this moment was washing over him in waves. Light trusted him enough to let him into his home, his domain. 

“L, stay right there okay? I don’t want you dripping all over because you don’t know where the towels are. I’m going to bring you a towel, then you can shower here if you want. I’ll wash your clothes, there’s gotta be something of mine you can wear in the meantime.” L’s head was spinning but Light vanished before L could ask if he was sure. As if L didn’t just ask him to up and leave and go with him. L was regretting the spurt of the moment question already. He was certain Light was to say no, and since they didn’t have a way to contact each other, that would be that. They would never see each other ever again. 

L would hate that. He had to ensure it wouldn’t happen.

Light quietly shut the door to his bedroom behind him and slumped against its frame. He sighed. What had he been thinking, bringing L here? He had been thinking that he didn’t want the love of his life to catch hypothermia, that’s what he had been thinking. Oh god, Light was thinking of him as the love of his life. Oh god. This was worse than Light could have ever dreamed. 

The rain pattered on the windows still when Light brought a towel for L. He had changed into his most modest pajamas (a matching blue striped set, different than his usual boxers and was a gift from his mother). He brought L his favorite sweatpants and a baggy To-oh sweatshirt that his ex had gifted him when they graduated. When L began to strip right there on his doormat, Light turned bright red and bustled into the kitchen to make some tea and calm down. 

_ I am a 26 year old man, I do not not get erections because a hot detective is stripping in my living room. I am not turned on. I am in control. _ Light chanted to himself as he prepared the tea, bringing out cream and sugar in case L desired them. He had already made himself comfortable on Light’s couch, and Light felt a sting of possessiveness as he saw L in his clothes. He wanted to see that far more frequently. 

“Do you ever see yourself settling down Light?” Light startled at the question. It wasn’t quite how he was expecting their conversation to go, even if he didn’t know what to expect in the first place. “I don’t. Or didn’t. I’m not sure anymore.” Light sat next to L and in close proximity he could smell the sickly sweet scent of strawberry shampoo. He lifted his tea to his face to prevent the sudden urge to push his face into L’s hair. The familiar heat of the tea grounded him. 

“I do. I want to live as normal a life as possible. I’m not sure if I’ll marry though, given my… inclinations.” If L had any eyebrows he would’ve raised them. 

“Inclinations..? I’m afraid I don’t know what you mean Light.” Light gulped down some tea, never minding the scalding heat that burnt his tongue. He had hoped it would burn the words away too but instead they flew out of his mouth before he could think. 

“I’m gay. Gay marriage is illegal in Japan.” Light’s expression soured as he remembered that his father worked with L. “You better keep that to yourself L. I haven’t properly come out of the closet yet and if you ruin that for me I’ll throttle you.” L laughed at him, a cut off bark that convinced Light that he was not human, at least partially. 

“Well I’d have to explain to your father how I learned that and ‘being invited into your sons apartment after asking him to run away with me’ isn’t a conversation I’d like to have with him. I must confess Light, I was not expecting that. Do not take unexpectedness as hatred dear Light, because that is not the case. I simply did not realize.” They paused for a moment, to gaze at each other’s eyes and search for masked mocking. There was none. 

“I’ll come with you. I’ll do forensics for you. I’ll help with whatever cases you want me to, but promise me one thing L- ” Light gripped L’s delicate hands so tightly he felt every bone, and a shiver of passion passed through him: “-promise me that once you’ve had your fill of cases and murder that we’ll settle down. If you can promise me that, I’m all yours.” L’s eyes brimmed with a passion he hadn’t felt since he was a child. 

“Anything for you Light.” Neither of them, for once in their lives, was lying. 

**Author's Note:**

> Who’s surprised? I wrote more lawlight. Just a ‘what if’ bcz i got dumped and wanted to write something where people loved each other 
> 
> Tumblrs: sweaterwearinlesbian (main) & lightsturtleneck (dn sideblog)


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